WORRIED that your relationship is faltering? Here’s how to make yourself feel better by pulling apart the relationship of friends who seem genuinely in love.
PDAs mean they’ve got something to prove
Anything more than a peck on the cheek is a try-hard display of public affection that should be unnecessary when you’ve been together anything longer than three months. Why are they holding hands and whispering in each other’s ears during your pub roast? Acting like they’re that into each other obviously means there’s something very wrong at home.
She’s only with him for his money
Can’t figure out why your friends seem blissful together? It must be down to money, so grab a pen and try to game out their earnings. He’s a solicitor and she’s a teacher, so he must earn more and together their annual earnings could be anything up to £150k, you wildly guess. She’d never make that alone so she’s obviously only in it for the money. He must be devastated, but he hides it well by looking very happy.
They used to be so fun
You used to hang out together all the time but now you only see them about once a month and they’re not into getting shitfaced until 3am anymore. How sad that their fun-loving spirits have been crushed like this. They’ve obviously ruined each other’s lives and it’s nothing to do with the fact that they’ve got two kids under three and live 70 miles away now. Definitely not.
He’s punching well above his weight
Rather than asking whether you’ve let yourselves go and this is why you’ve become so horribly judgemental about others, instead focus outwards on the attractiveness of your friends. She’s at least an eight, whereas he couldn’t be considered anything more than a five. It’s an affair waiting to happen, you think, and then spend a fevered ten minutes imagining an affair of your own.
But are they happy deep down?
Fine, so on the surface they seem very well matched and incredibly content. But are they actually happy? You know, like really happy? Or is it all a sham? You heard her call him a ‘massive f**king geek’ once during a pub quiz and, while he appeared to laugh it off, it’s your smoking gun. They secretly hate each other and will divorce within the year. You’ve made yourself feel 5% better. Mission accomplished.
