Saturday, 4th April 2020

By smiling and whispering wife discovers she can call husband 'w*nker' in front of kids

A WIFE has discovered she can insult her husband in front of the children by maintaining a smile and whispering it. 

Susan Traherne would normally summon husband James into the bedroom to call him a w*nker, but the new technique allows her to do it in other situations.

Traherne said: “We’re both committed to not arguing in front of the kids at an audible level, but now I can have a go at him any time, even a family dinner.

“By using the smile and whisper method our kids have no idea that I just called my husband ‘a complete w*nker who makes the cat seem useful around the house’.”

Husband James said: “It’s great that Susan has found this way to pretend we’re not really having an argument.

“She can be a self-centred, spoiled cow, which I will be pointing out later using the smile and whisper technique.”

Son Jack said: “When Mum is really smiley we know Dad’s in the sh*t again.”