SOMEONE dropped the L-bomb out of the blue? Stuck for a response? Check out these half-dozen ways to let them down easy (for you):
‘Good to know!’
Stick with the facts. It actually is helpful to know that this bloke you only begrudgingly acknowledge as a friend thinks you’re the one. Now you can taper things off, warn your friends and set the date when you’re ghosting him.
‘Can I get back to you on that?’
Love’s a big deal, so no need to give a response immediately. Ask if you can have a bit of time to mull over their embarrassing admission. Keep putting them off as you would a work project you really don’t want to do and eventually they’ll probably forget about it.
‘That’s brave of you.’
You’ve got to hand it to them — admitting that you want to not just shag someone but also maybe spend time with them watching TV and eating food is extraordinarily courageous. Putting a real emphasis on ‘brave’ should tell them all they need to know.
It’s only polite to thank your wishful paramour, but try not to be too lavish about it in case you lead them on. A simple ‘cheers’ pushes them safely back into mate/postman/checkout worker territory.
‘Thanks, fuck off.’
Honesty tempered with the bare minimum of politeness is the best policy if you never want to see this person again. But be warned, absence can make the heart grow fonder and they might think you’re just playing hard to get. Probably best to just say ‘I love you too’ and let them down over the course of several wasted years instead.