Thursday, 13th May 2021

Couple don't realise they are having two entirely separate conversations

A MARRIED couple are having two entirely separate conversations without realising it.

Oliver and Charlotte O’Connor have both been talking about their respective days without noticing that the other party has not shown any indication of giving a shit about what they are saying.

Oliver said: “I was furious that Nathan asked me to cover the finance meeting when he knew I had a Zoom with Nikki.”

To which Charlotte irrelevantly replied: “You won’t believe what Julie from procurement brought in for her lunch.”

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “The occasional use of ‘Mmm’ provides each half of the couple with enough encouragement to keep talking about their own, entirely unrelated tedious crap.

“Our research has found that if most couples listened to the soul-destroying nonsense their partner was saying just three per cent more of the time, there would be a corresponding 86 per cent rise in divorce.”

Charlotte said: “If I’m honest, I know Oliver is desperately boring but I’m scared of Tinder, so I plan to ignore the fact we’re incompatible indefinitely.”