Evil child ruins mum's morning coffee by existing

A FOUR-YEAR-old boy has deliberately ruined his mum’s cup of coffee by walking into the same room as her. 

Lucy Parry was furious after her son had the cheek to appear by her side when she was only two blissful sips into a double shot Americano.

Emma said: “I pretended I hadn’t seen him and sat there staring blankly at the wall like a statue. Unfortunately, despite appearances, he’s not a total idiot, so he saw through that.

“He had the gall to ask me for Rice Krispies. I hadn’t got up at 6am and made coffee like a ninja for it all to end now. I tried to block him out, but he started whispering ‘Are you OK mummy, you’re being strange’ in my ear.

“‘You are not welcome here’, I told him. ‘I love you but if I have to put this mug down, I will end you’. He didn’t give a toss, of course. He just told me he needed a poo and that was it. Coffee officially ruined until I try again tomorrow, like Sisyphus.”

Milo Parry said: “Mummy had to reheat her coffee three times and watch Mr Tumble instead of the news. Another successful morning.”

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