A MAN declaring ‘We’re pregnant’ to family and friends appears to have forgotten that his wife is the person who will actually push the baby out through her genitals.
Stephen Malley has been proudly taking equal credit even though he is not carrying a seven-pound human around in his abdomen and will not have to pump it out of one of his smallest orifices.
Emma Malley said: “Whilst I’m pleased Stephen is so enthusiastic about being a father I can’t help but want to smack him in the face for thinking his role in the actual pregnancy is any bigger than a slightly underwhelming shag eight months ago.
“Once this thing is out of me he will be of exactly the same importance in terms of parenting. Until then he can take his talk of our ‘shared journey’ and stuff it up his bum.”
Stephen Malley said: “We’re being a bit angry and insulting at the moment, but that’s probably because of our hormones or something.”