A WOMAN has earnestly expressed how much she loves one of her friends immediately before slagging off everything she says and does.
Lauren Hewitt went out for coffee with another friend for the express purpose of listing their mutual pal Sophie Rodriguez’s flaws, and then spent two hours analysing each of them exhaustively.
Lauren said: “Sophie is great. It’s just that she has terrible taste in men, dresses badly, ignores my advice, has a career I’m envious of and generally does stuff that means I have to rip her to shreds behind her back on a regular basis.
“But don’t get me wrong, at the end of the day, we’re really close friends. And that’s because of her many great qualities that I can’t think of right now, and not just because she’s always free to go for cocktails if everyone else is busy.”
Sophie Rodriguez said: “I love Lauren even though she can tend to be a bit critical of other people. In fact, she’s probably the biggest, bitterest bitch the world has ever seen.
“But it’s nice to have a friend who is more f**ked up than you.”