A WOMAN on a first date excused herself by implying she was going to fix her make-up, when actually she was heading for a dump.
Lucy Parry subtly made Jack Browne think she was going to look in the mirror, primp her hair and spray some nice scents around rather than wreak havoc on the toilet of an Indian restaurant.
Parry commented: “I simply said ‘I’ll just freshen up’ and pointed vaguely at my face, which instantly made Jack think I was going to touch up my eyeliner rather than noisily excrete the lamb bhuna which had gone right through me.
“Guys assume that ‘freshening up’ involves some mysterious but pleasant lady business rather than any bodily functions. It also sounds better than ‘Why did you take me to a curry house and cause my IBS to flare up on a first date?’
“It’s the ideal get out of jail free card. You can be two minutes or, like I was, a solid 20, and they’ll never ask any questions. It’s like a Jedi mind trick for people who think women don’t poo.”
Jack Browne said: “She was ages fixing her make up and looked far worse when she came back.”