LIKE a long cuddle after sex? Or are you clinging on desperately like a koala on a branch while your partner tries to wriggle free from your crushing grip? Find out:
How long do you cuddle afterwards?
A) Time ceases to pass when we’re in each others arms. We’re in a blissful temporal void of eternal closeness. After such a beautiful melding of minds and bodies, how could we let go? He’s always on the other side of the bed when I wake up though.
B) The mandatory couple of minutes while I try to ignore the growing wet patch and hold back the urge to urinate.
Eyes shut or open?
A) Wide open, the better to share the moment, and fixed on his. Because this is a time of spiritual communion. Oddly he can only hold my gaze for a few minutes before looking shyly away. So sweet. I couldn’t love him more.
B) Clamped shut. I mean, I’ve just had his knob inside me. Frankly that’s embarrassing.
Any kissing?
A) All over his beautiful body, whispering ‘I love you’ after every little peck. He doesn’t reciprocate, I assume because he’s entirely at ease being the object of such adoration. Did I mention he is the light of all my days?
B) Yeah, that’s more of a foreplay thing. Besides he’s been down on me, and you know. It’s not really a flavour to savour.
Do you uncouple straight away?
A) Why would we? When we can remain wrapped in the sexual afterglow? When we can prolong that moment when we are one heart, one flesh, one soul?
B) Straight out. I’ve had him flattening me into the mattress long enough, he’s really sweaty, and the pressure on my bladder is not helping with me needing that piss.
ANSWERS
Mostly As: Your devotion is clear. To you. To him, it’s a post-coital neediness that’s making him wish he smoked in bed so he’d have an excuse to roll away. You’ve been going out how long? A fortnight? Bloody hell.
Mostly Bs: Okay, but it did mean something, right? Because your post-shag emotional sterility is colder than a penguin’s nipples. You do like him sort of a bit, surely?
