ASKING boyfriends to meet certain basic requirements can ruin a woman’s chances of love. Single man Martin Bishop explains why it’s time to stop being so picky:
Looks aren’t all that
Women are often only interested in a guy’s looks, which is superficial and shallow, like they call you when you look at their tits. What about other, boring stuff like being considerate? Also he might be fantastic in bed, you don’t know, and if he isn’t maybe you just need to help him get up to speed. You know, be the bigger person.
Personal cleanliness is a spectrum
You’re excluding some great guys by insisting on them showering every three days. Men are more relaxed about this stuff. They’ve got Lynx. They haven’t fallen for Big Hygiene’s con that shower gel and shampoo are different, or you need a new toothbrush sometimes. Women can waste their money if they want.
A broader sense of humour means more laughs
Do women want a man with a sense of humour, or do they not have a sense of humour? The debate rages on, certainly at The Albion’s quiz night. Have you considered broadening yours to include farts, bowel conditions, that general area? There’d be a lot more giggles in the bed if you did.
Enjoy your own company
Do you want to end up a sad, lonely, spinster like Emma Watson? It’ll happen if you expect guys to give you constant attention, like texts between dates. I’m sorry but we’ve got our own lives and our own fantasy football teams, so it’s not fair to expect us to listen to every minute detail of what hairstyle you’re planning or one of your parents dying.
Weight is never a deal-breaker
Men like myself – well built in the upper torso, not gay – want to date slender gym bunnies with large breasts rather than fat women. We react, evolutionally, to visual stimuli of Melinda Messenger. Women, free of that burden, can enjoy having sex with any guy so long as he’s got a penis in there somewhere. They have that choice.
Ambition is the enemy of contentment
You’ll never be happy if you’re hunting some fictional alpha male in regular work earning above minimum wage. Many men have personal projects that will pay off handsomely given time, such as being in a band, placing bets or Bitcoin. An idea for a wearable ‘dog freshener’ could make that man a millionaire. And you’d miss out.
Porn is on your side
Do you want him demanding nightly sex? No. So don’t complain when porn’s willing to do the job you won’t. It’s a fantasy, not real life, and means you get evenings off. We’re not expecting you to be into things like threesomes or anal, though we will check regularly if you’ve changed your mind.
