A MAN is realising that hoped-for morning sex is increasingly unlikely due to his partner doing other stuff.
Tom Logan is disappointed at both the lack of keenly anticipated weekend morning sex and his partner Rachel who appears to prefer activities like removing ripe cat turds from the litter tray.
Logan said: “I thought my luck was in. But on a lazy weekend morning that’s perfect for sex she’s decided to do a f**king spring clean. In November.
“I wish she’d stop vacuuming in case it makes her too tired for sex. And is she really more interested in doing an unnecessary wipe of some tiny glass smudges with the Windolene? Imagine how big that makes my cock feel.”
Logan had desperately tried to convince himself that the dull tasks were a temporary distraction, but was forced to face reality at 11.05am when Rachel decided to ‘go through’ some old clothes, a chore which can take hours or days.
He added: “I feel I’m the only one working at our sex life. I’m up for it any time, apart from when the footie’s on, and I hardly do any domestic duties.
“Today I was all set for a a good session of vigorous porking. Although now I think about it, maybe we’d have more sex if I stopped calling it that.”