Man who's slept with loads of women just has no standards and lies a lot

A MAN who has bedded a vast number of women does it by sleeping with anyone and lying frequently.

Stephen Malley has had sex with 548 women, but the secrets of his success are not being picky in any way, giving false information about himself and generally being a sleazy ballbag.

Malley said: “I’m sort of like Casanova or James Bond, except my Mercedes is hired and I still live with my mum.

“Even so I’ve had a fuck of a lot of minge. Okay, some of them weren’t exactly supermodels, but you’re not looking at the mantelpiece when you’re poking the fire, as we suave ladies’ men like to say.

“It’s all about confidence, dressing well and giving the ladies lots of respect and attention before you fuck off the next day to play football with your mates and brag about it.

“And let’s be honest – women like a man with a good job and prospects. That’s why I tell them I’m a trainee barrister, an RAF pilot or on my way to becoming a tech millionaire.

“It’s not really lying because I’d quite like to do those things if I ever leave Carphone Warehouse.”

Ex-lover Nikki Hollis said: “I thought it was too good to be true when he said his favourite film was Mamma Mia too.”

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Should you tell people about the dream you had last night?

DID you have a dream last night and are desperate to tell someone about it? Find out whether that is a good idea with our handy quiz.

Was the dream in any way interesting?

A. Kind of. I was on Love Island when nuclear mushroom clouds started appearing everywhere but me and TV historian Lucy Worsley escaped on Aslan.

B. Dead right it was! I was walking round my old primary school for ages and I had to get a box or something, I can’t remember why. Crazy stuff!

Was the person you were planning to tell about the dream in it?

A. No.

B. Yes! I distinctly remember being at their funeral and seeing their gravestone. I’d better warn them they’re going to die soon.

Did anything particularly strange happen in your dream?

A. Yes! I dreamt I was on Masterchef but I have no interest in cooking!

B. Yes! I dreamt I was shagging my auntie!

Is the dream really of interest to your colleagues?

A. Totally. Kate and Belinda love analysing dreams.

B. Totally. I was running round the office shooting them all with a gun in revenge for all the times they’d pissed me off.

Do you think your dreams have a deeper meaning?

A. Nah, it’s just something to chat about that isn’t work.

B. Yes. The one where I was Hitler clearly means I am destined for great things.

Mostly As. You’re probably safe to share your dream with others but bear in mind it is still a dream and therefore they may weep with boredom.

Mostly Bs. Maybe keep your dreams to yourself, especially the one where you’re the child catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.