Friday, 30th October 2020

Man would have sex on first date

A MAN has confirmed that, contrary to all expectations and social morés, he would have sex on the first date if he felt it had gone well enough. 

Nathan Muir admitted that while sex never normally happens until at least the third date, he would be open to going all the way at the end of a single evening if he met the right girl.

Muir said: “Normally no. Often I don’t give it up until about the seventh date. Sometimes, if I don’t feel there’s chemistry there, it doesn’t happen at all.

“But yes, if I felt that the time was right to make a move – it would have to be a mutual thing – then I don’t see why I would hold out on the girl. Let the dog see the rabbit and all that.

“Would she respect me afterwards? What if she didn’t call again? What if she didn’t want a relationship and it was just one wonderful night of guilt-free lust? I guess I could cope with that.

“Sometimes you just have to give in to the animal within. Give it what it wants, slake those desires and accept that it was just in the air that night. You know?”

Date Hannah Tomlinson said: “I only asked if we were going to have a starter.”