'Not to be shallow, but no one under six foot' says shallow woman on dating app

A WOMAN using a dating app has confirmed she is not being shallow but physical attributes matter more to her than character.

Cara Thomson set out her criteria stressing that while she wanted someone kind and funny they would have to be at least six foot tall for some reason.

Thomson  said: “I’m five foot three so it’s really is important to me to have someone whose nearly a foot taller than me.

“And obviously I don’t want anyone taller than six foot three because that would look weird.”

She added: “I don’t think that’s being shallow, I just think it’s basing your desires for a mate on their physical appearance.

“I’m just an interesting, thoughtful, spiritual person who doesn’t want to go on a date with some dwarf or a big, lanky freak.”

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Man embarks on doomed facial hair experiment

A MAN has initiated yet another ill-fated experiment with his facial hair while his girlfriend is away. 

Steve Malley, aged 30, has already attempted sideburns, a full beard and a goatee described by friends as ‘hauntingly inadequate’ and is now trying out a moustache.

He said: “When the cat’s away, the mouse will grow a full Tom Selleck.

“I’ve been toying with the idea ever since I saw Bohemian Rhapsody but didn’t want anyone to think this was just a Movember thing. I really think this is the one I can carry off.

“Nikki’s away for ten days, so it might still be a little bit patchy when she comes home, but it’ll be very different from the pencil one she said made me look like a 12-year-old pimp.

“This time it’ll be full, bushy, luxuriant and she’ll love it. I’ve got a great line about free moustache rides that’ll blow her away.”

Girlfriend Nikki Hollis said: “He’s growing a moustache? Fuck it. I’m growing out my moustache.”