Older siblings great because they catch all the sh*t

OLDER brothers and sisters are great because they break all the rules and catch all the sh*t and you get away scot-free, younger siblings have confirmed. 

All outrage at academic underachievement, underage drinking and bringing bad boyfriends home is largely gone by the time the next kid gets around to it, meaning they get mildly reprimanded at worst.

Nathan Muir of Colchester said: “My sister’s first proper boyfriend wasn’t even allowed to sleep under our roof. The rows were massive and, for me as a blameless 14-year-old, deeply enjoyable.

“But by the time I was doing it my mum was already exhausted from three years of battles so I could bring home any skank I wanted. I was having one-night stands at sixth-form.”

Carolyn Ryan agreed: “My brother basically dropped out of university to do drugs. There were fights and groundings and one time all his stuff got put in bin bags in the garage. I helped.

“So when I got caught with an eighth of weed all I got was a tired talk about ‘being sensible’ and I could carry on my small-scale dealing without consequence. Thanks, Dave. Wherever you are.”

Oldest sibling Joanna Kramer said: “Yeah, this retrospectively justifies that decade of relentless bullying.”