COUPLES across Britain have agreed that showering together is neither satisfyingly sexy or cleansing.
Bored couples attempting to share showers to boost their love lives are emerging from them unaroused, unwashed and irritated with each other.
Hannah Tomlinson said: “You know how in the shower, it’s lovely and warm when you’re under the spray and freezing when you’re out of it? Turns out when there’s a six-foot bloke in there with you there’s quite a lot of ‘out of it’.
“We were doing the whole lathering each other up thing at first, but those cubicles are not spacious, the steam was rising, and I accidentally headbutted him when I was pushed against the cold tiles.
“To make up for it I did a bit of caressing, you know, to get us going. Which is when the water turned scalding and I had no option but to use him as a human shield.
“In the end he did the gentlemanly thing, got out and stood there shivering while I had a proper wash. The whole experience was nothing but a hassle.”
Tomlinson added: “I think we’ll try kissing in the rain instead, which is meant to be dead romantic. I’ll text him to meet me outside Home Bargains next time it lashes down.”