THE nation’s unloved loners have been left wondering if they will get to enjoy a shit date with a weirdo ever again.
With the concept of dating fast becoming a distant memory during lockdown, singletons are concerned that the days of making awkward small talk in a Nando’s will never return.
Bachelor Tom Booker said: “It’s alright for couples, they get to have crap date nights then pretend to have a headache from the comfort of their own homes. But what are we meant to do?
“I’m not even asking for a spontaneous weekend away in the Cotswolds or a trip up the London Eye. Give me a complete lack of connection in an overpriced pub and I’ll be happy.
“Compared to rolling out a vaccine, pairing people up with someone with no personality or compatible interests should be a piece of cake. I’m surprised nobody’s asked Chris Whitty when this will happen.”
Dating guru Nikki Hollis said: “Single people can date in a Covid-secure way right now on Zoom.
“And thanks to lagging issues and the total absence of physical contact, Zoom dates are guaranteed to be more tortuous and unsatisfying than the real thing.”