Student suddenly realises all his housemates are dicks

A FIRST-YEAR student has suddenly realised, mid-term, that everyone he lives with is a total and utter dick. 

Nathan Muir, who is studying politics at Leicester University, was stunned by the revelation which was a complete reversal of his previous belief that they were all amazingly brilliant.

The student, who is sharing an apartment in halls with seven others, said: “Shit. I can’t believe it. They’re all total wankers.

“I’ve spent the last term-and-a-bit delighted at my luck at being put with such a great gang, but now I realise that was my brain protecting itself from the traumatic realisation I’m cohabiting with arseholes.

“Adrian’s making his own hummus, Allie rips everyone off for bad weed, and Tim does nothing but beat everyone as Hereford Town on FIFA. They’re dicks.

“We’ve all promised to get a house together next year but I’d actually prefer to drop out.”

Housemate Joe Turner said: “Omigod, there is no way I can live with Nathan next year. I’ve just realised. He’s such a dick.”

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Quiz: Men - should you comment on that woman’s status, or keep your unwanted opinion to your f**king self?

A woman has just posted a status about her experiences as a woman on Facebook. Should you throw your two cents into the mix or just shut your fucking hole?

Take this simple quiz:

Are you a registered expert in the subject she’s made a status about?

A) Yes, I know loads about what she’s talking about, substantially more than she does. It is worth her, and everybody else on her timeline, hearing my opinion.
B) No, I’m just a regular guy.

Do you genuinely think she’d benefit from hearing what you have to say?

A) Yes, I genuinely believe my words will make an impact and perhaps even sway her opinion a little bit or at least give her something to think about.
B) No, I just really want to say it.

Has sharing your opinion on a similar status in the past gone well for you?

A) Oh, absolutely, loads of other people liked it. Interestingly those people were all men. Probably pleased I finally voiced what everyone was thinking.
B) No, but maybe this time will be different.


Mostly As) Don’t comment on that status.
Mostly Bs) Don’t comment on that status and delete your account.