Friday, 4th December 2020

Tier One girl loves Tier Three boy

A PAIR of lovers born in different tiers are doomed never to be together, they have confirmed. 

Grace Wood-Morris of Whitchurch in Shropshire and Oliver O’Connor of Neston in the Wirral live only 33 miles apart, but because they dwell in different tiers can never physically meet.

She said: “We yearn for each other. Every night I kiss his beautiful face on my iPad screen. But we are separated not just by one tier, but by two.

“My parents have warned me that our love is forbidden. They tell me to give up on Oli, that his lockdown will never lift, that I should find a local boy I can meet outside for socially-distanced government-sanctioned passion. But I cannot give up on my heart.”

O’Connor agreed: “I know I should accept the truth. That I will never be able to spend time with Grace because I am not allowed to meet other households outside.

“But even though I’m tier three, she is the one for me. She loves me regardless of my pariah status. Even if it means I must fight an army of Covid marshals single-handed, I will never give up on her.”

He added: “And besides, I can’t meet any other birds because Boris has shut all the pubs.”