A COUPLE who have avoided sex for months have reluctantly agreed that the wintery weather leaves them no choice.
Will McKay and wife Joanna have successfully made it through spring, summer and autumn before plunging temperatures brought them within inches of their first shag in almost nine months.
Joanna explained: “He rolled over towards me and instead of pushing him away out of habit, I actually – grudgingly – appreciated the warmth.
“I pulled him closer, even. Next thing I knew, we were very nearly possibly considering getting it on like a couple of horny, shivering teenagers.
“If the weather continues like this, it’s days not weeks before we engage in full intercourse, which is a shame because we’re close to a new record. And what if I enjoy it?”
Will agreed: “We’ll cave in eventually. It happens every year. But in the long run it’d be more efficient to invest in a higher tog duvet. That way we could make it to December, maybe even early January.
“Just to make it clear, I’m absolutely not going to leave the heating on at night. I’d rather have sex 365 days a year than that.”