IS your partner insisting on turning on the central heating against your wishes? Here’s how to put them right about ‘being cold’.
It’s not winter
They claim it’s winter already, but it is clearly not. The sun was out yesterday for 10 whole minutes. You’re just wearing this jumper and scarf because you like them.
They think you don’t notice when they sneakily turn the heating on
Do they think they’re some kind of ninja, tiptoeing to the heating controls and pressing the ‘on’ button, in violation of all known relationship laws? Do they think you won’t notice that the house has turned into a sauna?
There’s this mad concept called ‘wearing warm clothes’
Your partner walks around in T-shirt and shorts then complains they are cold. Explain the concept of ‘warm clothes making you warm’, and don’t take any crap. Make them wear a duffle coat in bed if necessary.
They are showing a lack of respect
It’s pathetic that your partner declines to come and study the smart meter to see how much energy they are using. Threaten to report them to Greenpeace, even if they mutter that you have turned into your father.
They left the door open
Maybe only for a few seconds, but this is why they are cold, not because of the extremely low temperatures outside. It’s just not on to imperil your relationship and the future of the planet with their wanton love of warmth. Threaten them with divorce.