A MAN in a long-term relationship has no idea that his girlfriend is locked in unending secret war with all his previous partners.
Grace Wood-Morris grimly searches out information about Tom Logan’s ex-girlfriends and decides in what arena she must best her spectral rivals in before going at it full-force.
She said: “So this f**king Charlotte was a professional chef, so I ended up doing cookery classes until I could make a pavlova that beat hers. So she’s done.
“I’m having to be funnier than Sara, prettier than Katie and sexier than Natasha. That last one’s killing me because she was a total slag, but I can’t stop until he unfriends her on Instagram.
“Jenny got on fantastically with his mates, so I’m having to pretend that shower of arseholes are funtime not f**k-ups, and Claire was adventurous so we’re booked on a potholing weekend.
“Never mind that he’s not seen most of them in years and describes them as mental. I can’t rest until I’ve beaten the lot.”
Logan said: “Which one was Natasha again? Was she blonde?”
