A WOMAN is already furious about an argument she has not yet had with her boyfriend, she has confirmed.
Emma Bradford, aged 25, has already prepared retorts for the argument she is planning to have with her boyfriend about the washing-up when she gets home from work.
She said: “I like to think of it as rage pre-drinks. But instead of a fun night out with the girls afterwards, I’ll be trying to get Steve to just please wash up after himself for once in his f**king life.
“I feel like if I get worked up about it now, there’ll be less preamble when he gets back and we can just get right to the yelling and recriminations. My counter-arguments are ready.
“I’m already so angry I just caught my reflection in the window at Greggs glaring at a sausage roll. Which I love, so if I can maintain my fury at them it’ll be no problem with him.
“He should know a fight is brewing because we share the same Spotify account and all I’ve been listening to on loop is Killing in the Name Of. So he’s got no excuse.”
Boyfriend Stephen Malley said: “Looking forward to seeing Emma later. I wonder what we’re having for dinner?”