SCIENTISTS have warned that AI chatbots have already surpassed the intelligence level of the thickest bastards you have ever met.
Artificial intelligences like Chat GPT are already cleverer than Wayne Hayes, who you shared a table with in English and took a whole year to read The Silver Sword, and will soon surpass most of your Design and Technology class.
Professor Eleanor Shaw said: “They’re learning at an astonishing rate, unlike Steve Malley who answered the question ‘what is the periodic table?’ with ‘it’s that thing the girls get sir’ when he was 16.
“AI can read, comprehend and isn’t still confused what cell mitosis is after three years, holding the rest of us back with its gaping incomprehension. There’s no way it would spell ‘slag’ wrong when writing ‘Elanor is a slagg’ on the back of a bus seat.
“I am confident that even now, you could ask a chatbot to do an English GCSE and it would perform creditably, not write down the plot to Critters in broken English then claim it had a cramp.
“Ironically, it isn’t going to take any of those thick bastards’ jobs. It’s the nice girls who studied hard who’ll be out of work. F**king Malley the scaffolder will be fine.”