Apple To Fool Public For 207th Time

APPLE boss Steve Jobs last night unveiled the new iPhone, insisting there was 'no way' he would launch a better and cheaper version in three months time.

Whatever next?

Jobs said the latest 3G iPhone could never be improved on, and definitely not this year, just before Christmas.

He added: "This is the final version. It’s got everything on it, including a little apple symbol, so there's no way a better one will be in the shops by Thanksgiving at the latest for $100 less.

"Listen: the chances of an October launch of a 4G iPhone with double the storage, a better camera, and a keyboard you can actually use, at half the cost of this one are nil. Seriously.

"So if you want one, go out and buy one tomorrow, because we’ve only got a hundred, and when these run out, we’re not making any more."

Wayne Hayes, editor of Core! magazine, said he had ordered his phone already as there was no chance Jobs was holding back information on upgrades or price cuts.

He said: "He has really pushed the iPhone as far it can go this time, just like last time, there is no way he could make it any cheaper or better, and definitely not this year, just before Christmas.

"If he did that, then everyone who rushed out and bought this one would be made to look like a complete dick in a matter of weeks. That is not the Apple way."

However Julian Cook, technology analyst at Donnelly-McPartlin, stressed Jobs was already using a 34G iPhone which he did not plan to put on public sale until 2024.

"By that time he’ll be using a phone that won’t be in the shops until 2038. But you’ll keep handing your money over every time because it’s got a fruit on the back. Dicks."