Attention-seeking weather told to grow-up

BRITAIN’S insecure, attention-seeking climate has been told to get a grip.

The weather followed-up the hysterical heatwave melodrama with a noisy, childish display of thunder and lightning which experts described as ‘pathetic’.

Martin Bishop, from the Met Office, said: “We’re sick of it. I stand on the roof every day, trying to reason with it, but all I get back is infantile sulking or lots of ‘look at me! look at me!’.

“It’s classic, self-absorbed bullshit. Anyway, we’re going to stop doing forecasts, otherwise we’re just giving it what it wants.

“The only way the climate is ever going to change is if we ignore it completely.”