PROFESSOR Stephen Hawking has warned that the greatest danger facing humanity today is Brian Cox.
Hawking warned that Cox knows fuck all about science, and that his deeply flawed documentaries will result in the extinction of humanity.
He said: “For decades I was the popular face of scientific endeavour, with my exciting-sounding but highly complicated books.
“Then along comes Cox, with the layered hair of a born philanderer, telling everyone they can do science when I heard he’s only got a 2:2 from a former poly.
“Yet somehow he has numerous television series like ‘Handsome Brian’s Made-Up Star Nonsense’ while I’m scraping along with voiceover work on broadband adverts.
“Sooner or later he’ll convince ITV2 viewers that they can do nanotech and everything will get turned into grey goo.
“He wears a suit jacket over a t-shirt. Who can trust a man like that? I know for a fact that his scripts are just printed-out pages off Wikipedia.”
He added: “D: Ream? Who cares? I was the one at the back in Soft Cell.”