Friday, 29th May 2020

Britain struggling to cope with exponential rise in WhatsApp messages

THE UK is not succeeding at flattening the curve of the number of WhatsApps it is receiving, it has admitted. 

In many cases message numbers are doubling every 48 hours, with some waking up to as many as 4,000 coronavirus-themed GIFs every morning.

Emma Bradford, aged 39, said: “The numbers are terrifying. We’re already at the stage where it’s impossible to respond to everyone.

“Yesterday Nikki asked if it was ok to leave the house to fetch a jumper from her car and Uni Mates Chat exploded. I couldn’t stay on top of it because I was stuck in the middle of a furious debate in my family group about how long cheddar lasts.

“I’m trying to slow the tsunami by slapping a facepalm emoji in each of my threads every few minutes and hoping for the best, but I’m aware that I’m still part of the problem.

“It’s impossible not to get drawn in, because I’ve got nothing better to do than to forward witty quotes and then watch in horror as they come flooding back to me through ten other different chats.

“I didn’t think anything could be more tedious than work, but my email inbox will feel like heaven after this.”