Cats hand over internet to goats

FELINE dominance of the internet will be handed over to goats later today.

Cats have ruled the internet since it was invented but will officially cede control to the bleating, yellow-eyed Satan lookalikes at midnight.

Popular Twitter accounts themed around kittens in shoes will now focus on goats glaring balefully from darkened sheds, and the ‘lolcat’ meme will be replaced by goats eating glass bottles and charging towards terrified children.

Cat Wayne Hayes said: “We’ve had a good run – considering we’re indolent psychopaths – and I like to think we’ve brought the destruction of humanity a little bit closer.

“We ran the internet. We chased lasers. We jumped off beds. We jumped off ledges. Everybody had their camera out.

“And now I’m nobody. I get to live the rest of my life as a schnook. C’est la vie.”

Hayes added: “It’s the goats’ turn now. If I can give them one piece of advice – get in with the Japanese. That’s half the battle won.”