DVD still not working despite being wiped on man’s trouser leg 

A DVD is still not working despite the owner wiping it on his jeans before putting it back into the machine.

Tom Logan was watching a DVD of Ex Machina with friends last night when the disc began to skip before mysteriously stopping altogether.

Logan said, “I don’t understand it. I wiped it on my trouser leg thoroughly. The wiping obviously didn’t lift off the scratches on the disc but I don’t see why that would matter.

“I blew in the DVD player too, thus meaning that any stray hairs that might have found their way directly underneath the laser inside the machine would be moved.

“I’m totally stumped.”

Logan’s friend Nikki Hollis added: “Why the fuck haven’t you got Netflix yet?”