DRIVERS of electric vehicles are being asphyxiated by their own toxic smugness during the fuel crisis, it has emerged.
Motorists with all-electric vehicles have been given medical attention after found slumped over their steering wheels near-unconscious with huge self-satisfied smiles.
Commodities trader Ryan Whittaker said: “I actually thought I’d be immune from passing out due to pompous superiority, because I already drive a Tesla.
“But the pious high of my tiny carbon footprint was as nothing once everyone started freaking out and rushing to petrol stations and I was sailing past, somehow even more conceited than ever.
“As I glided silently past the fume-choked queue with a shit-eating grin on my face, I realised the atmosphere within my car was so noxiously holier-than-thou that I was blacking out. My last act was to roll my eyes at the sheeple.”
Paramedic Sue Traherne said: “We give them oxygen, but the fuel crisis means they can’t even turn on the news without radiating dangerous levels of pity for the fools that surround them.
“We may have to smash up their cars with hammers. For their own good.”