Sunday, 27th September 2020

Female scientist gives up trying to tell male colleagues she found a vaccine in May

A FEMALE scientist who discovered a coronavirus vaccine in May has given up trying to tell her male colleagues.

Biochemist Susan Traherne discovered a reliable COVID-19 vaccine in a record-breaking 36 days and has spent the following 88 days attempting to get any of her male colleagues, superiors or even unpaid interns to listen.

She said: “Judging by the frantic scrambling of the rest of the team I thought it would take years to find a vaccine, but by building on the incredible and largely ignored work of Dr Helen Archer in the 1990s, I hit on one in just over a month.

“I was jubilant when I shared the news of my world-saving breakthrough. My boss smiled at me patronisingly and told me to put it in an email, which he hasn’t read.

“When I went to his office to repeat the incredible news, he listened to me for a moment then handed me his mug and said ‘Cheers love, I’m gasping.’

“It’s been months now and still nobody’s interested. Maybe this is their way of telling me I’ve missed something really obvious and I need to go back to the drawing board? Either way, I give up. You win, Covid.”

Lab manager Martin Bishop said: “Incredibly, I’ve discovered a coronavirus vaccine. I went through a junior researcher’s lab fridge and her notes and found a perfect solution she’s idiotically overlooked.

“I’ll win the Nobel Prize for this. What a hero.”