NEED to relay basic information without sounding bitchy? Good luck – even these innocent texts sound passive aggressive.
Superficially this is a perfectly normal example of textspeak. You’ve shortened ‘okay’ to the more chummy ‘k’ so there shouldn’t be an issue. However your phone chucked in a full stop via autocorrect, giving your friendly approval the stern subtext of a pissed-off boss. The recipient has already started a group chat about how snotty you are.
‘Where r u’
A powder keg of miscommunication that’s going to blow up in your face. This terse question comes across as more threatening than Liam Neeson’s phone speech in Taken, and you may as well have typed: ‘ARE WE MEETING UP OR WHAT YOU USELESS LATE BASTARD???’
People are too lazy to type ‘eh?’ or ‘what?’ when expressing their confusion, so using your fat thumbs to jab the question mark button then hit send is totally okay. Or so you think. Word has now spread that you’re a curt dickhead who thinks they’re too good to use letters anymore. Expect to be phased out of your friendship group with immediate effect.
This breezy message of agreement is crackling with passive aggressive hostility. It doesn’t contain the faintest trace of excitement, and that capital ‘s’ is positively sneering with contempt. At least you didn’t send ‘fine’, which everyone knows is the text message equivalent of saying ‘f**k you’.
‘Great to see you xx’
The classic pincer move of bitchy aggro. ‘Great’ is the limpest word of praise in the English language, so what you’re really saying is that running into the recipient was as welcome as a migraine. Adding ‘xx’ is a masterstroke of linguistic violence because nothing comes across as more contemptuous than two measly, loveless kisses.