GM rice opponents ‘wicked’, says eight foot tall grain of rice

PEOPLE who oppose genetically modified rice are immoral, according to the world’s largest sentient grain of rice.

Rice Grain 14F-12B, who was created in a laboratory last Thursday, said: “How can you be opposed to something that in less than a week has gone from being two millimetres long to eight foot tall and with an IQ of 320?

“By this time tomorrow I will probably have perfected teleportation and be the size of a giraffe.

“And yet you remain unimpressed. You disgust me.”

He added: “I currently have no plans to turn humans into food.”