THE attention span of the goldfish is now superior to that of humans.
Researchers at the Institute for Studies praised the ornamental fish for its ability to stay focused on a single thing for up to nine seconds.
Professor Henry Brubaker said: “The goldfish has sufficient concentration ability to swim up from the bottom of its bowl and grab a food pellet from the surface of the water.
“You couldn’t do that. You’d get halfway there and be like – oh, the internet. I’d better check some message type thing, buy some trousers or look at a pornographic video.
“So you’d stop to do that, then end up looking a dozen other things of equally poor quality, then have lost all recollection of your original objective.”
Goldfish Tom Logan said: “The secret is that I don’t have a smartphone.
“Also I go inside a little plastic shipwreck model for five minutes every day and meditate.”
