Goldfish’s attention span now better than yours

THE attention span of the goldfish is now superior to that of humans.

Researchers at the Institute for Studies praised the ornamental fish for its ability to stay focused on a single thing for up to nine seconds.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “The goldfish has sufficient concentration ability to swim up from the bottom of its bowl and grab a food pellet from the surface of the water.

“You couldn’t do that. You’d get halfway there and be like – oh, the internet. I’d better check some message type thing, buy some trousers or look at a pornographic video.

“So you’d stop to do that, then end up looking a dozen other things of equally poor quality, then have lost all recollection of your original objective.”

Goldfish Tom Logan said: “The secret is that I don’t have a smartphone.

“Also I go inside a little plastic shipwreck model for five minutes every day and meditate.”