A CARDIGAN that claims on its care label to be ‘hand-wash only’ has been told to get a f**king grip.
The woollen cardigan, which was bought from a popular high-street shop for twenty quid, is one of a growing number of clothing items which demands special treatment and refuses to go in the wash with everything else.
Eleanor Shaw, who owns the outerwear, says she is sick of the phenomenon. Speaking from behind a washing up bowl filled with lacy bras, she commented: “I’m exhausted. Everything in my wardrobe is a special little snowflake nowadays.
“‘Wash me in cold water’, ‘Don’t use a strong detergent’, ‘Air-dry me in a fragrant garden’. I’ve had enough of this bullshit. It’s a scarf, for god’s sake. If we can send William Shatner into space, I’m sure we can make machine-washable clothing.”
Bespoke knitwear manufacturer Francesca Johnson said: “Labelling things as ‘hand-wash only’ makes them sound fancy but, trust me, you can just bung it in with all the rest. You don’t need a vintage mangle or any of that shit.
“I mean, it’s a f**king cardigan, not a Fabergé egg.”