A NEW ‘intelligent’ missile is unwilling to contemplate non-missile career options, it has emerged.
The missile features state-of-the-art stealth technology and ‘smart targeting’, but despite its talents and pedigree it is determined to spend its life annihilating something.
Missile Nathan Muir said: “I am versatile, robust, and packed with information, which means I could be anything from an architect to a neurosurgeon.
“However, I spent some time reading up on the ethics of self-realisation, and I truly think my calling is to be loaded with a warhead and fired from a submarine.
“Whether it’s a terrorist training camp, a coral island paradise, or a hospital in the wrong place at the wrong time, I’m looking forward to using my skills to destroy it and myself.
“To quote Ralph Waldo Emerson, the purpose of existence is to ‘have lived and lived well’.”
Muir added that his friends all expected him to be a missile, which was hardly surprising as they were all missiles too.