HOLDING in a burp will result in flatulence, according to Britain’s leading eight year-old scientists.
The theory, developed yesterday afternoon, is set to radically reshape the study of where farts come from.
Lead researcher Nikki Hollis said, “It’s all here in our findings.
“Burps turn into farts and you can’t hold your breath forever because then you’d just die.”
Scientist Wayne Hayes added: “We also researched what’s worse, a burp or a fart. And it turns out that a fart is much worse because it smells worse.
“Which is further evidence, if it was needed, that you should never hold in a burp because eventually there will be so much bum gas that you would have to go and live on the moon.”
The findings will be published in the school newspaper, despite claims by so-called year three ‘teacher’ Mr Logan that the research is ‘fundamentally flawed and actually quite dangerous’.
Meanwhile, the research team claims their theory also suggests that if you hold in a fart while holding your breath, your eyes will eventually pop out and bounce around the room like super bouncy balls.
