Inventor of driverless car ‘inspired by dream of masturbating in back seat of moving vehicle’

AS self-driving vehicles become a reality, their creator has revealed he was inspired by the notion of being able to masturbate while travelling on a busy road.

'Singin' la la la la la-la-la la'

While internet giant Google has become the latest company to develop an autonomous vehicle, the concept of the driverless car was originated by pioneering LA engineer Tom Logan, whose boyhood dream was to perform self-abuse while alone in a moving vehicle.

Addressing the ‘Innovators 2012’ conference in Silicone Valley, Logan said: “Ever since I was a boy, I’ve thought how cool it would be to just glide down the highway, in the safe metal cocoon of a vehicle piloted by artificial intelligence, masturbating.

“I have dedicated my life to that dream, and now it is a reality. Yesterday I took to the highway in a prototype intelligent vehicle that allowed me to stop driving, clamber into the back seat and quickly masturbate, although it was only safe to do so for five minutes.

“There was a light breeze coming through the windows and Steely Dan playing on the stereo.

“And just as I thought, onlookers were so amazed by the lack of driver that they didn’t even notice what I was up to.”

He added: “Advances in technology are freeing up more time for us all to spend masturbating.

“Driverless cars, robot cleaners, android chefs – tedious drudgery will become a thing of the past, allowing humans to concentrate on pleasuring themselves up to 20 times a day.

“Future generations will scarce believe how little we used to masturbate.”