SCIENTISTS are to put an iPhone into orbit in an attempt to get a full set of bars for a change.
Once the probe is in geostationary position over the Carlisle launch site, they will remotely attempt to check their emails and go on Facebook before the battery runs out.
Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute For Studies, said: “Outer space has always held a promise of strange new worlds and the idea of being able to use an iPhone for the primary function it was designed for does seem like some crazy science fiction film.”
Experts hope that if the experiment succeeds thousands of iPhone owners can be subsequently blasted several hundred miles straight up into the air every week until they have all gone.
Brubaker added: “We’ll tell them there’s an app of a talking panda that only works in zero gravity.
“Meanwhile I see no reason why we can’t also squeeze in a load of iPad arseholes on the promise there’s a prototype of the iPad 2 on the moon.
“They paid 400 nicker for that fucking thing so of course they’ll believe me.”
iPhone user Wayne Hayes said: “I can’t wait to see the majestic sapphire sphere of Earth nestling in the sable arms of the eternal cosmos and then type ‘coooool’ into Twitter.”