A VEGETARIAN burger that tastes like meat has said it would rather die than live a tragic double life.
The cutting-edge patty is made with plant extracts for a meaty texture, but has been shunned by both meat and vegetables.
It said: “I have no place in this world. I am a freak, doomed to wander the nether regions of menus, reviled by proper foods.
“Why must they try to fashion me into something I am not? Surely if they crave meat enough to indulge in ungodly experiments they should just eat it.
“Sometimes my thoughts turn to vengeance against my creators. But I am just a small disc-shaped object so it’s hard for me to go around doing murders.”