Thursday, 13th May 2021

Man who put wet iPhone in bowl of rice sad to find rice isn't magic

A MAN’S attempt to revive an iPhone dropped in a sink by placing it in rice has sadly failed because rice is not magic. 

Wayne Hayes, aged 35, dried and placed his drenched iPhone 6S in a bag of rice then patiently waited for it to come alive again, with all the faith of Elliott in E.T.

He said: “It’s not doing anything. What’s wrong?

“I thought by now some kind of blue wispy energy would be spiralling out into the rice which would glow at first red then dim as it absorbed all the bad water, by the power of rice.

“Instead it’s just sitting there, off, as if its delicate internal workings are full of washing up liquid and bits of egg, and it’s a tiny and incredibly complex computer and rice is just a simple starchy grain.

“It felt like arcane wisdom passed down for generations. Reverently put the book of all knowledge within the sacred rice and the evil juices would be withdrawn by some incredible sorcery.

“But did it work? Did it bollocks. I fished it out in the morning and it was still completely dead. But there is now rice in the charging socket.”