Saturday, 4th April 2020

Man's phone keyboard still makes the typing noises

A MAN’S phone is still making a little noise every time he presses a key, it has emerged.

Nathan Muir’s otherwise modern mobile device makes an audible clacking sound with every single letter that he types, much to the irritation of friends, colleagues and fellow commuters.

Muir said: “I know I can silence it but I choose not to. If you have a problem with it you can always leave the quiet carriage.

“Jabbing out a message to the clack of 1930s Remington typewriter makes me feel like I’m a hotshot journalist reporting on the latest scoop, whereas in reality I’m asking my ex-wife when I can pick up the kids.

“She says the keyboard sounds weren’t connected to her decision to leave me, but her new fella’s phone is as quiet as the grave. Meanwhile if I could add swooshy noises when I swipe up the screen I would.”

Co-worker Donna Sherridan said: “Silencing the keyboard is the first thing we all do when we get a new phone. You’d have to be a nutter to leave it on.

“It’s different from when I browse my phone’s library of ringtones at maximum volume in the canteen at lunch. That’s necessary.”