Thursday, 13th May 2021

Mum in WhatsApp group losing her sh*t about missing school jumper

A MOTHER has gone fully apesh*t crazy about a missing school jumper on a parents’ WhatsApp group, members have confirmed. 

Ellie Shaw first broached the missing jumper at 3.45pm yesterday evening and has since posted about it 144 times, each message going to the phones of 38 different people.

She said: “I started light, with ‘It appears someone has gone home with Noah’s jumper, which is labelled NOAH. Please could you check your child’s bag?’ As if it were an innocent mix-up.

“I got a lot of emojis. Messages claiming that people had checked their child’s bag but found only their own child’s jumper. Some mums offered to call the police. Their children can come to Noah’s birthday party.

“But no jumper. So I’m suspicious, so I ask a few follow-up questions and resend the original message and share a few theories, until 2am.

“Then I wake up and it says ‘Nikki Hollis has left the group’. So she clearly know something. So I sent a few more messages about that, asking for a posse to assemble by the school gates to make a citizens’ arrest. And suddenly I’m the bad guy.”

Nikki Hollis said, “I don’t have time for another f**king message about jumpers. I’ve got a job and a life.”