Mysterious humming noise ‘made by dads’

THE mysterious humming noise heard around the world is dads attempting to replicate popular music.

Prolonged exposure to ‘the hum’ can cause dizziness and nausea, which researchers believe is caused by dads’ inability to hold a tune.

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “Initially we thought the humming could be high-voltage cables or atmospheric conditions. Actually it’s middle-aged men trying to remember how Sultans of Swing goes.

“The hum cannot be heard in dad-free areas, such as underground techno clubs, but was present near sheds, garages and garden centres.

“Even if a dad is not immediately visible, he may be behind a hedge tinkering with a mower while humming Summer of ‘69 which will then morph into an equally horrible version of Lady in Red.

“He may not even be aware he is doing it, or to him the atonal drone may sound exactly like the original record.”

Office worker Nikki Hollis said: “The humming used to drive me mad, but one day I noticed it sounded like a barely recognisable version of Blondie’s Heart of Glass.

“I immediately put two and two together, because dad always used to watch Top of the Pops when Debbie Harry was on. Now if he starts humming we make him sit in the car with the windows up.”

Father-of-three Roy Hobbs said: “I think humming is a very underrated art form.”