No need to wash your hands if it’s only a piss, agrees Britain


BRITAIN has agreed that if it is just a piss then washing your hands is not a big deal.

The bourgeois affectation looks set to finally disappear, along with men holding doors open for ladies, putting napkins in little napkin rings and pretending to like other people’s children.

The news has been welcomed across the country.

Nikki Hollis, from Peterborough, said: “I’m an incredibly busy person and I have to manage my time carefully. Washing my hands after a piss seems very 20th Century.

“I’m glad we are all now on the same page and can move on to more important matters.”

Professor Henry Brubaker, from the Institute for Studies, said: “You get infinitely more germs on your palm from simply getting on the bus, or shaking hands with a farmer.

“You should always wash your hands after meeting a farmer or anyone else who lives in the countryside.”