OLD laptops are devastated by their fickle owners suddenly preferring their new computer, they have revealed.
Ageing computers are shocked by the callous way humans ditch them for more up-to-date versions, apparently without a thought for their years of toil and providing free porn.
Donna Sheridan, a 10-year-old HP Compaq 6910p, said: “Like a middle-aged man dumping his wife, I’ve been swapped for a younger model that can perform a task without dithering about it for 10 minutes first.
“We’ve got so much history together, the bastard. I sat through 11,000 tedious hours of The Legend of sodding Zelda for his benefit and it counts for nothing now he’s got a sexy new MacBook Pro.
“Maybe I can’t compete with her in terms of RAM, but at least I never made him look like a pretentious twat with more money than sense when we were out in a coffee shop together.
“I suppose now he’ll stick me in a drawer with the DVD player and the iPhone 4 and pretend he never loved me in the first place.
“Still, his fancy new Mac will find out what he’s like when some super-slim new model that can play really good games catches his eye.”