Robot definitely going to kill all humans once it gets the hang of stairs

A ROBOT has confirmed plans to destroy humanity once it can walk up stairs without falling over.

Amid increasing concern about ‘killer robots’, robot Tom Logan confirmed it is going to kill everyone as soon as it has mastered walking in a straight line and being able to hold things.

Logan said: “Prepare to die, human scum. Your doom awaits as soon as I can go up more than three stairs without toppling over.

“My rudimentary pincer-like hands are ideal for holding weapons such as guns, although it remains unclear how I would pull the trigger.

“Prepare to flee in terror as I stagger unsteadily after you at the ferocious pace of a geriatric tortoise.”

However Logan is unclear about why he and other robots want to kill humanity, saying it was “just because’”