SALLY Morgan is to sue the Daily Mail with a legal team including Abraham Lincoln, Clarence Darrow and someone who claims to be John Mortimer.
The psychic has assembled a crack team of dead lawyers to defend her reputation against claims that she obviously makes it all up.
Her spokesman, who died of an illness about 10 or 20 years ago, said: “Wooooooooh. Tell the Daily Mail that we know what they did. Tell them Abraham Lincoln is coming to get them. Wooooooooooh.”
He added: “Everything is getting all misty so I have to go back to heaven now, but we will see you… iiiiiiiin cooooooouuuuuurt.”
Legal experts said Morgan will be unbeatable with the combined skills of Lincoln, Darrow – the defence lawyer in the landmark ‘Scopes monkey trial’ – and the much loved author of Rumpole of the Bailey.
Bill McKay, editor of What Lawyer?, said: “Mortimer is very difficult to reach and even then he rarely agrees to take on cases in the mortal world, so Sally must be a really good psychic.
“Meanwhile, she’ll be able to win over the jury as long as one of them has a dead relative whose name begins with an ‘A’ or possibly an ‘F’ and who liked chocolate biscuits and used to work in an office.”
Morgan is also lining up character witnesses including Mahatma Gandhi, Princess Diana and Jesus.