Scientists discover homeopaths also make shitty, weak tea

TEA made by homeopaths does not actually contain any active tea ingredients, a study has shown.

Researchers at the World Health Organisation followed two homeopaths around for a day to observe their tea-making habits. Out of respect to the homeopaths no methodology was applied.

Paula Martin, a homeopath, said: “What many people don’t realise is that heavily diluted tea is actually much more potent than ‘mainstream’ tea.

“What I do is, I make a normal cup of tea, then I dilute it by a factor of a hundred, then dilute that solution by a factor of 100 again. I actually can do that up to six times, if someone wants a really strong brew.

“I can’t dilute it any more than that. You’d be awake for days.”

Fellow homeopath, Wayne Hayes, said: “It helps if you bang a leather book on the side of the kettle, to help the water remember what’s been in it.

“Did you know that water has a memory?”